I haven't wrote in so long because I have been trying to enjoy life a little...which I haven't done in quite a while.
The sad part is....I realized why I stopped :( Life makes things seem and feel so real....and right......nothing is really for real and I sadly realize that now.
Is this my destiny????
It is 2:30am and I can't sleep, I am sad and confused and really unsure of ALL decisions I have made. I feel like a complete idiot for stepping out of my comfort zone once again to get thrown right back to where I was. Why is it I can give out the world best advice.....but when it comes to myself all reason goes out the window.
I am scared to help or be nice to people cause it always gets thrown back in my face. I am scared to love because the people I have loved only hurt me. I am scared to have friends because my friends have hurt me and used me. I am scared to take risks or step outside of my comfort zone because every single f'n time I do the world crumbles underneath me. Every plan I have ever made failed. Everything I try to do doesn't work and I try so hard to be positive. I really do but my goodness it is hard. It is sooooo hard. I wonder how people who have it ten times worse keep going. How they finally succeed? How do I stop the cycle? And what did I do to deserve what happens to me. What am I doing wrong. I know something is not right I just don;t know what is is and it's really confusing!!!!
My mind is exhausted and my heart hurts. I am so sad. Soooooooo sad!!! Why must people hurt me?
:(
Des
You know it crumbles that way At least that's what they say when you play the game
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose
We've all seen the man at the liquor store beggin' for your change
The hair on his face is dirty, dreadlocked and full of mange
He ask the man for what he could spare with shame in his eyes
Get a job you fuckin' slob's all he replied
[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in his shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to sing the blues
Then you really might know what it's like [x4]
Mary got pregnant from a kid named Tom who said he was in love
He said don't worry about a thing baby doll I'm the man you've been dreamin' of
But three months later he said he won't date her or return her call
And she sweared god damn if I find that man I'm cuttin' off his balls
And then she heads for the clinic and she gets some static walkin' through the doors
They call her a killer, and they call her a sinner, and they call her a whore
[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to choose
Then you really might know what it's like [x4]
I've seen a rich man beg
I've seen a good man sin
I've seen a tough man cry
I've seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I heard an honest man lie
I've seen the good side of bad
And the down side of up
And everything between
I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
Smoked the finest green
I stroked the fattest dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their heart
You know where it ends
Yo, it usually depends on where you start
I knew this kid named Max
He used to get fat stacks out on the corner with drugs
He liked to hang out late at night
Liked to get shit faced
And keep pace with thugs
Until late one night there was a big gun fight
Max lost his head
He pulled out his chrome .45
Talked some shit
And wound up dead
Now his wife and his kids are caught in the midst of all of his pain
You know it crumbles that way
At least that's what they say when you play the game
[CHORUS]
God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news
'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose
Then you really might know what it's like [x3]
